the power of speech

There will come a time when, the lump of flesh that once was your baby will open its mouth and utter sounds that make up words. These words will then be stringed together and form somewhat coherent sentences and these sentences will give you an insight into this "prolongation of your being's" inner thoughts.
These thoughts will make you realize that, there is a reason why most western countries grant the right to vote to 18 year olds, and withhold it from their younger teenage peers. The brain takes its time to mature.
What goes on in a two year old's head could be resumed by the term Lewis Caroll's neurosis- cum- Munchausen syndrome.
My dear son, (whom I love more than anything in this world and has become the apple of my eyes over the past 27 months even though sometimes he drives me so nuts that I feel like peeling the wallpaper off my wall,... with my teeth), has discovered the power of speech. I am of course thrilled by this new milestone in his development, and marvel at all the wonderful things he is now able to express.
Just the other day he exclaimed:" ah...piano I think I do a magic trick and ah.. giant egg but I feel a little bit sick  ah.. tummy ache but ah.. feel better now."
Of course I promptly replied the only possible answer to his story: "REALLY?!"
Each child is different, and you will be told so countless times over the next few years, mostly in instances where you are at a playgroup and this kid, who is the same age as yours, can do stuff your kid can't, and you'll involuntarily let a "vow you're kid can do that!mine can't even do that" out, to which your kind and slightly embarrassed interlocutor will reply "each child is different".
You will learn this line by heart and will become an expert at using it yourself.
So my child, has developed this exceptional capacity to talk, much in the way of sports commentators, about nothing but with a very high volume of words.
If we go out for a walk he will comment on every step of our journey. "look mama going down the stairs, oh open the door mama, it's daytime, look kitty walking on the sidewalk hi kitty, big neighbour woman says hi mama"etc.
However thrilled you are that your child is acquiring vocabulary at the speed of Neo learning Kung Fu, at some point in the day, you will want to hear SILENCE.
Nap time will come to your rescue, or will it? you will become acutely aware of what goes on on the roads near your home, as ambulances and pimped up toyotas drive past your window disturbing your child's rest and possibly waking him up from what was, essentially, Your Quiet Time, and the chatter will start again.
You might become sick of your own voice retelling that same Dr Seus' story for the umpteenth time.
And when your husband gets home and starts telling you about his day you will wish you'd married someone who truly understands the meaning of this great Shakespeare quote "brevity is the soul of wit".
This is where Ghandi can come to your rescue. "Be the change you want to see in the world". This small sentence is a truly powerful mantra.
The aim here, my dear friends, is to work at perfecting the zen master wordsmith that lies in each of us. The technique is simple but demands devoted practice.
Everyday past 4 pm you will work at Feng Shuing your vocabulary and jettison all these superflous conjunctions, particles and articles in order to attain speech Nirvana.
You will have to work hard on mastering this ancient art that is Telegraphic Speech.
After enough Kill Bill style training, you will produce syntactic gems of deep wisdom such as "give- me- wine"; "child-go-sleep- now";"husband-dishes-trash"and I promise you that you will see peace and quiet reign in your home once again.